Life Through My Eyes

They saw her arrive home with a blank look. She rarely came around during the December holidays. So everyone was eagerly waiting to hear why she came ahead of the new year. She wasn't speaking. All probes weren't doing the trick... So during the family tradition round a welcoming bond fire, grandmother who always has her way with everyone cracked it for all. "He chose fireworks over me", everyone went into fits. As ribs were cracking, a well of tears rolled down her cheeks as she heaved, her blouse got drenched in tears.  They all hushed immediately. Her hidden pain were all of a sudden written all over her face. How long had she held back, they wondered. She narrated her attempts to make him see through her lens, all was in vain, she let go, she just let go  "All I wanted was to build and honour 'our' family tradition". The cycle was broken and so will be forever. The beauty of crossing a new line together has been lost. To hold...

I have been engaging with a few people lately to understand their perspectives on marriage. The responses vary from background to background. I always insist that when one chooses a partner (Yes you should choose every partner you stay with). At least i do, so let me use "me" as an example. Every partner you have seen me with has been my choice at the time and that gives me a reason to be happy all the time because i was not forced by any circumstance or condition at the time Here today i commented on a post on two African women who recently got married. The conversation swayed around why we marry. This my "attacker" believes the primary reason for marriage is meant to make babies. I say otherwise. I believe the primary reason for marriage is companionship. Making babies is secondary. This is how i see many of us entangled in relationships that fail-babies is all we see We enter relationships/ marriages to make babies and the two baby-makers end up like stranger...

Very many years back, my cousin who had just joined college conceived. Word reached home and eventually she dropped out of college. The question remained, "who owns the pregnancy?" The elders explored a lot of options since cousin wouldn't say. Some cared less who owned the pregnancy. Then someone, a great uncle came up with his  "brilliant" solution! "Let's gather a lot of sticks and cane every young female relative of "cousin" Cheeeei! His thinking was we definitely knew baby daddy and would spill with a little help from the canes! Glad for the many civilised beings in the family, even if he was a great uncle whose words no one questions, he was told off! We survived such uncivilised act! Fast forward, cousin gave birth and has been loyal to baby daddy since, they have a number of offsprings together! She completed a course of interest and is employed Back to great uncle, recently I heard how he denied his daughter who birthed t...

I have your backs T2Ds (Type 2 Diabetics)! Have you heard people say things like "I don't feel pity for T2Ds? These are rich people who have failed to look after their health...These people called for the condition upon themselves. They could have avoided all this!..."                                                                                                      I was like you back then until i had my rude awakening in 2015. However, despite the July 2 episode when my girl got diagnosed with type 1 diabetes, the over 10 days in the hospital did not immediately show a need to extend my dream then to do something about type 2 diabetes. My focus was on type 1 diabetes, the unknown type of diabetes among many and later ge...

Man, if you are from an African community and zeroing it down to my community; watch how you behave around your mother-in-law. One thing you might be naïve about is, she “controls” the relationship between you and your woman. It could be unknown to all parties. It is more of a natural thing. If you love a woman and really want to keep her, rule number one! Watch you act towards your mother-in-law How do you speak to her, respond to her, treat her…it doesn’t matter whether you share a roof or not. Keep your long tail in check It doesn’t matter whether she is the annoying type, the irritating type, keep your tongue in check It doesn’t matter if she is learned or not, keep your attitude in check Don’t take a mother and daughter fight that seriously and think they will end it, you are fooling yourself Mother-in-law will send you on errands, give you assignments, “annoy” you deliberately; she will test you in all sorts of cunning and sometimes annoying ways. And then the l...

The perfect relationships are always displayed on our screens. We get glued to the TV, or whatever we watch a movie from wishing all that love, the connection, the sync, the passion in there could trickle down to real life. It never does most times because it's a movie, remember that! So our wishes keep on and on and on We start doubting what we have Infront of us We stop giving it any effort We stop watering this grass and start looking for a greener one; this grass could be greener than what we are chasing after. Somebody watered that. Always remember this. Going back in time, when my life was exactly what I wanted it to be When my spirit was free No heavy burden, things appeared light!... I checked my messages and what I had been waiting for was right there! A preposition! My exact want! I was in disbelief because of the perfection in my want...you will think it crazy, but this is what I ever wanted "No such commitment, but a loving man who knew me and would ...

What I really want from you is you I need you home with me It's ok for you to hang out But it's not ok when I am the last, very last on your list I am not here for your money I don't care whether you spoil me or not It feels nice being given a treat But i need you more than your money My heart aches every time you leave Not that you are with someone else But that you don't care to hang around me I love me and I might move See when I hear footsteps, my heart jumps in excitement thinking you have arrived When I hear voices from afar, my entire body wakes up with the expectation that I will witness you approach home When I hear the sound of automobiles, something within me races He is finally back! I say to myself, what a long wait! Finally he is home... Only to sink back and grow cold for you have better things and i seem to be an inconvenience to you. I have begged you I have loved you I have fought for us I can't keep on like this I re...

All protocol observed; if we have bottoms in our hearts, it’s from that depth that our gratitude flows your way for turning up for this diabetes fundraising concert tonight. Mommy, my biggest fan and supporter, strongest backbone, you nurtured me with every fibre within you and look at me today. My diabetes warrior, Janae-you are a gift to the people of Gulu just like your name Mic . Josiah, we would never ask for another support system, you are everything, a mother, sister would ever ask for. Your sister is safe with you by her side. My family and friends thank you; the strangers, thank you. Every one of us at some point was a stranger to one another, but with a nod, a smile, a hello, we became friends and family. Paul Mutanga, no amount of words can express my gratitude to you and the entire team of O café thank you, thank you. Our sponsors for the concert; Coca-cola, Stanbic bank, cloud core systems, music for peace band, Benjamin Spartos, O’café Gulu, radio Pacis, radio Kin...

I long for your touch Your embrace, that that will make me feel safe I long for you The you who will ride with me in my joy The you who Will wail with me in my sorrow, comfort me That you who will embrace and support my moves The you who will stay with me when my people come to visit Not run like a thief caught in action I long for you who was crafted for me Who will accept my flaws Acknowledge my weaknesses And help me transform them into strengths The you that will be my backbone The you who will offer a shoulder once I feel down The you who will love me unconditionally The you who will not be ashamed of me The you who will not put me under pressure to change and suit your needs and desires I long for you Every day I watch out as the sun wakes and sleeps With the hope that you will arrive I know you are coming! Through the eyes of AYENYO Joanita

Africa is rich! Split by boundaries, but we are one! Those lines drawn in the colonial times are just lines Look at our traditions Practices, norms Either same or similar We protected our environment Children People Natural resources Surrounding! Our forests are rich with healing herbs No added chemicals Our foods, very high in nutritional values Our brews, full of nutrients! Our leisure time full of fun and education Our songs! Our elders, mothers rich with knowledge Constipation in children was dealt with from home To date, all we need to do is get a small piece of soap And that poo comes running like never before I won't divulge into details for I learnt my lesson some time back With technology, so many of us are connected to soo many people we don't know. So one time a mother had this challenge and needed a home remedy, I spilled our secret into detail, you should have read the Insults hurled at me! So Africa, keep your secrets and guard them jea...

Motherland where my heart belongs The cocks’ crows wake this village! As the people turn in their beds trying to cover their heads and coil for more minutes, the crows continue until they get out of their sleeping mats. They yawn, stretch as their eyes adjust and notice the light from the skies signaling daylight. The atmosphere is filled with melodies from the birds. Up they arise and get hold of their hoes and other garden tools and rush off to the fields. Much of the field work is completed by the time the sun comes up and some people start their long trek back home as others work on until the sun is above their heads. Some roots like cassava, yams; vegetables and firewood are always brought back home. The woman immediately starts the process of making food for the family as the man bathes and goes to sit under that mango/ tamarind tree with a big bowl of porridge as he awaits lunch. The children come around him and start playing. He plays the baby sitter role as mama wor...

How I learnt that men are so selfish Look around you Look around you especially if you are within 500km radius from where I am writing and you should be able to see what I see. There is a rise in single motherhood and people think it is the trend. I say otherwise. I believe these women who are single handedly bringing up a child or children are doing this for a reason. Show me a man today who will take up his responsibility of fending for an expectant mother and the child. Close to zero! They take off once they realise there is life within a woman. Not a diaper, not soap, not a shawl, not milk. They run without looking back and in their tracks they leave many babies! So what do you expect from an empowered woman who is busy all the time, visit a sperm bank! Have your baby, and keep away from the stress the men bring in. Remember how the man runs once he realises life is within...when the child starts to walk and the very very difficult stages are past, some bring their sha...

Let me fill you in when you date an egocentric man. Everything rotates around him! From happiness to sorrow to adventure...whatever you can imagine As you walk down the streets; he will be full of himself. They are looking at me because of my new pair of shorts, shoes, hairstyle.. Why is that guy over looking at me? Can't the girls just mind their businesses? At home...are you moody because of me? We need to talk this, we need to talk that. Really, are you taking that serious? Why are you not talking to me? I knew it is me making you feel that way... They rant on and on and ooooon!  Men! This kind of shit gets really boring and frustrating and annoying! Can't a girl have time off reflecting? Can't we walk the streets and you get to care about me and cease from your crazy thoughts of people minding you! Can't we just sit in a restaurant and we focus on us? Count yourself lucky if this kind of man hasn't crossed your path. Man and woman, most time...

I have seen the crested crane a few times. Not very common in my surrounding As I inspected my vegetable garden Sounds rang in the air It was a strange sound Not from a machine But something alife I could tell it was a bird I craned my neck to catch a glimpse of what made the sound My attempt was paid off as two birds flying side by side crossed my sight passing right between me and the sun I couldn't tell what birds they were Tradition hit me a little What could that strange sound mean? Did it have a message for the one that heard it? I let it slide and after hours Mama remembered it She asked; "Did you hear the crane's sound?" I literally melted with excitement I can't describe It was just beautiful for I realised I had never heard a crane's cry! A discussion around the misfortune a crane can bring kicked in By this time, a cousin has joined us home It is believed a crane is always with a partner and should...

Every time my heart throbs I long for my mother's hugs When she embraces me All the pain of this world vanishes It liquidifies And melts away When she rocks my pain away I fall asleep And wake up stronger This world is cruel We laugh with our enemies Share beds with our destroyers Run away from our comforters Take for granted those who truly love us You won't win You will never win For I shall rise and soar above the clouds When the world is taken up by storm I shall fly above the clouds and keep dry as I enjoy the sunshine The beautiful light of this world is all I desire You will never win Through the eyes of AYENYO Joanita

Diabetes Healthcare! I think I am angry, but most definitely disappointed when it comes to diabetes support/care at the adult side  of our regional hospital. When you change a type 2's regimen from oral meds to insulin injection; there is so much that needs to happen. From explanation, counseling, education among others. Many people have not touched Syringes. So many others ( non-healthcare professionals) have not driven a syringe into a skin.... This one time when someone gets switched from oral meds to injection....you throw at them 3 syringes and a vial of mixtard (supply for a month) and tell them "go start on injections", they plead with you to guide them on what to do. You throw back words 'find out from your colleagues". Hello? Sometimes I just feel disgusted with you all that dispense meds and behave like this? Who told you to apply for that job, go cry at your uncle's feet to have you admitted for this job. Stop killing us and making certian...

She wishes that phone stolen, broken beyond repair, dropped in a deep pit latrine. Of course you will replace it, but the wish won't die... Did you know only a handful of women are ok sharing their spouses?  Majority are from the past and a countable number today A woman doesn't accept competition Be it with a car, a gadget, another woman This generation has seen the woman competing with the phone! For how long shall this happen? You find that she talks to her man who keeps saying mmm, uuum, oooh to everything she says because he is in a different world. He smiles sheepishly at his phone every now and then Even in bed he has one hand on her and the other on his phone! Really! Do you actually expect nature to take its course on her ... At the end you must force yourself in tearing her physically and emotionally She brings this problem up often...you have a defence for your actions....Awk! How about you keep that phone away and monitor the di...

Breastfeeding has always been one of my most exciting moments of motherhood!  The little fingers and legs being pushed into my mouth...the eye lock and one feels the bond and understanding between  us growing. The faces and sounds we would make. One being a copy cat! It could be me leading or Queen leading... if one of us failed to do it right, we would go in a fit of laughter. Sweet moments! Same experience with the Prince, he was this big baby and would hold tight on to his food. He had and still has a very infectious smile. So pure and would just win one over. I miss having babies in my arms! Having such massive boobs as mine, I was always forced to sit while I fed Queen and Prince! Best to cover your breasts as you go to sleep as it might start jetting while both of you are sound asleep and if it hits the nose, the baby can easily suffocate or choke...it will kick it's legs and flay hands in an attempt to survive. If you are dead asleep, things will go bad ...sleep h...

Sister, we expect so much from you up there; yes up there at the head of the table. Maybe we expect so much that we get lost in the fantasy and expect so much from you. Some of you rode on our shoulders to get there, not that we expect a payment, but we expect you to hold on to the table and pull us up. But that is far from reality for so many of you there. You squint at us, call us all sorts of names, and almost make it impossible for us to co-exist with your likes. You make our lives miserable; you show us and the world that you are in control. You think… You spend much of your energy blocking growths of others below you. Stop wielding your power like your life truly and entirely depends on it. Do you think your candle will shine brighter when you blow off mine? To you who is still a long way down there; Do not try and bring down a sister who is on her way up or at the top. Remember your tactics are not sustainable. For how long will you abuse your body and soul for...