For the sisters

Sister, we expect so much from you up there; yes up there at the head of the table. Maybe we expect so much that we get lost in the fantasy and expect so much from you.

Some of you rode on our shoulders to get there, not that we expect a payment, but we expect you to hold on to the table and pull us up. But that is far from reality for so many of you there. You squint at us, call us all sorts of names, and almost make it impossible for us to co-exist with your likes. You make our lives miserable; you show us and the world that you are in control. You think…

You spend much of your energy blocking growths of others below you.

Stop wielding your power like your life truly and entirely depends on it. Do you think your candle will shine brighter when you blow off mine?

To you who is still a long way down there; Do not try and bring down a sister who is on her way up or at the top. Remember your tactics are not sustainable. For how long will you abuse your body and soul for some little prestige you get from the old staff who make decisions in the institutions? Always remember that hard work pays. And remember the top is not for all of us. We can be something from whatever position we are in. Just explore the best in you from wherever you are and if the top is where you belong you shall rise, if the middle is where you belong, your impact will be felt the same, if your place is at the bottom, you will not deliver less.

I was once told, if your environment, colleagues, supervisors are blurring your light, sometimes the best is to step aside and shine!

Your body is sacred; I won’t tire to tell you this girl. Your body is not for every Tom, Dick , and Harry. What you are trading off your body for is not even worth it, actually, nothing is worth you’re your sacred being, so don’t use it carelessly, respect it.

Tell yourself every day that “I am worthy, I can make it in life, i matter, my body is sacred…and repeat I matter!”

Many of the ladies out there are wolves in sheepskin. How sad? You come smile with me, I may open up to you, I may share an idea…instead of having a constructive conversation with me…you smile and walk into the world to laugh at me, to back-stab me,…you spit on the sidewalk when my name is mentioned...huh! hihihihi…continue and watch me grow and then as my success becomes defined, you are quick to judge…she must have slept with the people who “matter” hahaha…work hard and work smart for success girl. It is possible to remain whole…to remain true to yourself and to soar up there…keep talking and you will talk until your time is up

Never wait on a man to do things for you, to buy you that house, to buy you a car, feed you, dress you, elevate your family…that is not how it works…if you choose to have a partner…you must co-exist, support one another, bring a little something to the table and grow your empire together…How hard is that ladies?

Ladies we can do great in this space if only we could hold one another’s hand and move the distance ahead of us

So let’s put our acts together and sail away!

When I started this piece, I had no idea how it would end

A couple of months back, my “blueberry” started acting up and I could not close the back anymore. With my naivety, I thought it was because it was dropping every now and then. After about a month, I noticed the swelling of the battery…I got a rubber band and placed it around the phone, yes I did. I just couldn’t afford another, not even the ones on promotion. Then it got worse and I could not do anything with it. It had to hit the trash bin. I dug out an old phone that once belonged to mom…It was better than mine so I hustled with it for about a week until that girlfriend did it for me. You know how phones change voices of people, I failed to recognize many voices that called since I didn’t have their numbers…back to my girlfriend…she calls, I definitely don’t click right away that she is the one, but luckily I am able to place her voice before asking the quite annoying question, may I please know with whom I am speaking?...within the hour, she is with me at my desk and see’s the condition of my phone. We blubber away like usual. Discuss our different projects, most importantly on scaling up.

Time for her to go, she insists we should step out; I grab my bag without knowing where we are headed. We stop at a phone shop. She greets a lady in a very familiar way, so I imagine she has come to see her. She goes ahead to ask for phone prices, all this while nothing clicks. I can’t see what she is doing on the counter as my eyes are roaming all over the shop because i don’t want to miss out anything. The next moment she is standing in front of me with a brand new phone and a receipt written in my name. I mumble thanks…she pats me on the back and says…” pay me whenever you can…” before she takes me for lunch.

I wasn’t expecting this…I mean she is this girl I loooove, she watches my back and I think I have not entirely been there for her, but she has been here through thick and thin when we revived “us”…Now I can communicate without being irritable once again. She did that one thing that patched up a piece in my life. If we can have more women like her who will shoulder one up other than laughing their heads off because of a situation. Just imagine how the women’s world would look like and how that would affect everyone’s life

Thank you RINA for being such an uplifting lady and to all the ladies out that extend a hand to support, that encourage another, that stay positive about another woman...the entire support system, we can change the narrative!

Through the eyes of AYENYO Joanita