To my Queen

It’s been a long ten years since I bowed in that bucket every 30 minutes or less to puke

16 full weeks of distress, pain, aches, retching, sore throat…

Not just in the morning, but day and night alike…no peaceful days

All my flesh got eaten away and my bones were all out

9 month of irritability

9 months of dictating what lotion, perfume, hair spray people had to use around me

Dictating what foods to be cooked or ordered in my presence

Yes all for you, you were on the way coming

You had announced your arrival!

The Queen was on the way!

I was happy regardless of all I was going through

There were days I prayed and wished I could sleep a little longer, but noooo!

The Queen dictates!

You wouldn’t let me

My body needed to adjust to your presence

Finally you settled in and we learnt to say good morning and good night

All I needed was to gently rub our spot within those hours and you would gently kick back

It was a beautiful thing, our love started long ago

Our traditions are not from yesterday, we built it over time

Finally you announced your presence to the world and shortly after you were in my arms

You were such a beauty to behold

Your heartbeat met mine that early morning

You chuckled

You were everything a mother ever wanted, or a mother would want

You still are everything a mother wants

We continued with our tradition

I remember your first words, first steps, how your first set of teeth looked like

The sparkle in your eyes hasn’t gone anywhere

Your smile has always been infectious

Then something happened to you one day,

You didn’t know how to tell me

I didn’t know what it was

We roamed the big and small hospitals…all in vain

It kept eating you away right in front of me

My heart ached because I was defeated

I had failed

I tried, I really did

My prayers finally got answered

Better know the monster attacking than guessing it

Better to see the monster right in the eyes

Better to talk directly to the cowardly monster

Yes my prayers finally got answered

On that evening of July 2, 2015

The sparkle left your eyes

They were dull

Our tradition was halted

I tried, but in vain

That beautiful smile left your face

You didn’t know me

I died from inside

Kept alive from the outside

I did it for you baby girl

I did it for you

That monster was finally unearthed

It was and still is diabetes

It’s not stopped its aggression

It gives us both no breaks

We work tirelessly day in day out

We have an army around us who keep watching you

Then we have the other people who think I fed you sugars so the monster trailed after you

We have those who think your diabetes is like that of their uncle

They keep telling you, telling me, telling us;

Do this, do that, and in snap of a finger it will be gone

Baby you have type 1 diabetes which is unpreventable and has no cure for now. Nothing I could have done could have stopped you from having it

That doesn’t mean it’s the end for us

Warriors put up a fight; diabetes will not, it shall not win

We shall fight with every fiber in our veins

The people with all the negativity and wrong information will not poison us

We shall make them see through our lenses

Warriors fight, warriors never give up, warriors are brave

This is what we are darling

Where were we?

Yes; the lights went out for close to two full days

Then like the sun crawling out of its cave, your eyes shone

Yes you were back, the clouds were heavy so your eyes didn’t shine brightly, but I could see the sparkle

And now it shines brighter than before

My heart raced with joy

We had made it

We did it!

We have always been a team and will always be a team, remember this Queen, remember this

You are so brave girlfriend

And just like that we have become one of the strongest warriors this universe has ever had

4 years baby girl, its four years since we have been fighting this monster, diabetes

Your little brother has watched over you and saved you on countless occasions,

Your granny tirelessly wakes up in the middle of the night to ensure that the monster is kept away from the defense line

Your uncles, nieces, nephews, friends, other relations and well wishers haven’t left you alone

You are loved sweet pumpkin!

You are such a blessing to me

You made me a momma girl! And a strong one as such

You are a great blessing to this universe

We shall fight this battle together

I will always love you my Queen

A HAPPY 4^TH DIAVERSARY!

AYENYO Joanita

Photo credit: Deyo Josiah J(5yr old)