Life Through My Eyes

My tear had never rolled down my cheeks for no man, and yet it welled down like a newly formed spring; to say I have never cried for or over a man is untrue, for I did to my one love, but that happened when he was gone, gone and never to come back…I loved him and have never loved again until my JET came my way; not to stay, but rather to awaken my feelings that had been long put to sleep. A sleep I did not want it to wake from unless it was gonna stay. It took me years to put it to sleep, for it to be rudely awakened for just a day, a week…the most unkind sleep interference. Will it take me another year or so;-fate will determine I feel shattered, can I sit and get swallowed in my work without the hard truth staring at me, No! We face each other eye to eye. Is this what it means to love; why does it have to be now? How did it even happen, I just realised it was up, and dancing away with joy…until then I have to put my feelings to sleep… Have you ever been in a galaxy to beho...

When you watch me standing up here, you go...WOW...She has made it in life, she has an amazing partner, she goes places, she shares tables with the top-notch people of this world. I wish i could be her, you enviously state it. Look! There is no difference between you and me. You are equally beautiful, talented with a lot of potential. All you need to do is tap into it. Never allow anyone underlook or despise you, trample on your self-esteem. You are enough and you can shoot right through the sky like anyone out here. Often we wait for someone to pick us up from the crowd, sometimes they never come, sometimes they never see us, sometimes we are too many and only a few are seen. This doesn't mean you are not something. Sometimes we must step out of our hiding. Shine your light girl. Do not wait too long or you will be lost. But again do not rush for anything in this world. If you try to catch up with everyone, you might end up face down Ever wondered how i got here, that is...

By now, you know my Queen is a type 1 diabetic(T1D) Finding a school that can offer her basic support didn’t come in easy With all my reservation, this school in question convinced me beyond reasonable doubt that they would support my Queen I yielded! Indeed year 1, went pretty much smoothly Year 2 the potholes started to show and grew so big within that year By year 3, we had fixed a few of the holes, but we never went back to the smooth road of year 1 Ahaaaa! News of a school tour to the central part of this land is dropped on my table I have to part with an obscene amount of cash But, that is not our focus today I received the beautiful news with mixed feelings Questions on my Queen's well-being flooded me Did I want to trust the school with my Queen’s life even at night? Would they religiously give her night shots and do the 3:00am tests and sit up depending on results? Would they really keep an eye on her? I poured my concerns to the school heads and staff I ...

He is definitely not your best choice Are you for real? Huh! If he doesn’t drive, a huge cross on him If he has no regular job, a huge cross on him If he doesn’t earn, go stay with him from out of my sight Is he well schooled? My people, he is a good man We can work together to build our legacy We shall make it Please accept my choice Stick to your choice And kiss this family goodbye For the love I have chosen I am cast out of my family The family I adore I have grown I am not blind as you may think I am not as stubborn as you have branded me Off I am all alone with the man I have chosen My nights are always longer My days full of pain I cannot go back home, for the man I have chosen is not befitting! The agony is ripping me apart! I cling to the man He is the man! My belly shows another life breeding from within me The man turns vile I become a punching bag, day and night The man throws all sorts of insults at me ...

Submit I must Because he keeps on insisting on how I must submit if I want the relationship to work out Ah ah ah! Indeed I must submit because society dictates so Masculinity has to prevail over femininity! Our society is the breaker of every happy life If we don’t abide by it, happiness will go But again what’s the essence here Are you marrying tradition or me? Does society keep your bed warm? Does it take care of you when you are unwell? Does it cook for you? Does it stroke your temple and look into your eyes with burning love? If it does, my friend go get society and let me be If this is our life, you don’t expect me to strip down to become you I can do it half way, you know, for us! How about we meet in the middle? How about you hear me out? How about you stop this obsession of submission? Must it prevail over the beautiful things we have? You call me strong-headed Proud, arrogant huuuuuh! You remind me every single day how pride blocks the way for me Has s...

The home is cold. The cloud hangs low and heavy. Even with the bright shine of the sun, the sweltering heat from the skies people are shivering with cold, heavy sweaters and blankets around us The father of the home has been called back home. The illness was so short. He still had a lot to do in this world. This was not expected. God why, God why? Where shall we begin? Where shall we begin? The shoe is so big for any of us to fit in The hole father has left is so big The home is flooded with all kinds of people. People from the church, workplace, neighbours, relations we have never met and some familiar faces. It will be like this for the next couple of days and that is it. Yes, the home will remain with just us. Everyone coming runs to the wife of the deceased, the mom, the bigger people. No one looks at the children. A few that turn that way, pinch slightly on their cheeks, rub their heads and that is it. It's a tradition of how we connect with children The childr...

Allow us mourn as much as we can People from my community mourn differently The men rarely shed a tear…just a handful do But the women! Many wail, some wail with no tears, some roll on the ground… A mother of the deceased ties her belly for it is said the loss of a child is felt in the womb… it hurts all over again like labour I imagine So many other people wail, but I wonder whether they really do this from the heart (let’s keep it for another day) I wonder whether what they exhibit is actually what’s going on inside There is this woman who recently lost her son She sat there in despair Not a drop of tear on the first day The second day she held it in until she saw the box that contained the remains of her son Some quick drops rushed through her eyes and she blew her nose several times and went quiet again All these two days, she sat quietly like death itself Tears would well up but none would drop Her eyes were red like pepper She kept shaking her ...

It’s been a long ten years since I bowed in that bucket every 30 minutes or less to puke 16 full weeks of distress, pain, aches, retching, sore throat… Not just in the morning, but day and night alike…no peaceful days All my flesh got eaten away and my bones were all out 9 month of irritability 9 months of dictating what lotion, perfume, hair spray people had to use around me Dictating what foods to be cooked or ordered in my presence Yes all for you, you were on the way coming You had announced your arrival! The Queen was on the way! I was happy regardless of all I was going through There were days I prayed and wished I could sleep a little longer, but noooo! The Queen dictates! You wouldn’t let me My body needed to adjust to your presence Finally you settled in and we learnt to say good morning and good night All I needed was to gently rub our spot within those hours and you would gently kick back It was a beautiful thing, our love started long a...