I am single by choice; You are married by choice


Sister, I respect that you are married
Respect that i am single
Can we maintain that mutual respect?

See when I chose to stay single
I never mentioned that I would not give birth to children
That was not in my pact of remaining single
I never mentioned that I would not date
I didn’t mention that I would not be seen in the company of men
Get this straight

I am independent
I make decisions without consulting
This is the life I chose
You chose being married and I respect that
Don’t open your mouth to call me a whore
You know if you weren’t one close to that, you would be a saint, right?
So keep quiet and enjoy your marital life

You chose to get married
I am a big fan of seeing two people unite
Walk hand in hand as the sun goes to sleep every evening
My heart soars in delight when I see your face beaming when your man kisses you on the forehead in front of the grocery store
When I see your children happily playing in your backyard
Running to daddy when mommy gets tough
It is a beautiful sight to watch
I love it that you got married because that is where your satisfaction is derived from

I am happy with my life
Dancing with my babies in the living room
Going to the movies and parks
Dropping them off to their granny, aunt, friend as I go make money
We are happy

Stop in your line of thought!
Yes, my children have not asked for more
I have not asked for more
I am not a burden to my people
I don’t run begging for money
I don’t depend on my man to pay all the dues
Even if I was married like you
We would share costs
That makes the marriage even more beautiful
You surely can’t imagine and expect the man to look after you entirely when you can contribute to the well being of your family

I and my children are comfortable and happy
My other single ladies who have chosen to stay without children are happy too
Have you heard us complain?
Good
That is what matters in life
You are married by choice, I am single by choice
May life prevail!


Through the eyes of Joanita Ayenyo

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