The filthy hands of in-laws
At 18 I am married off!
Life is what I desired
An established jolly man, a big house, parties
My marital house is warm
Warmer than anything you have ever imagined!
Within the first year
The in-laws start their filthy games
What have you brought to this house?
Is she your sister?
At dawn, my sister-in-law travels in the wee hours
She peeps and eavesdrops
Are they sleeping
Is the baby making on
As I cook, run around with my chores
In their loudest tones,
My in-laws torment me day in day out
“I hear a baby crying, go attend to it”
“I smell pupu of the baby”
Toilet paper gets rolled out
Dry surfaces get cleaned up in the name of pupu being cleaned
The baby is crying, go feed it
Here I am, childless
3 miscarriages in one year!
3 of my babies gone
Do you think I do not want to hold them in my arms?
Plead is all I can do with my husband
Honey let us go to the hospital and have a check up
I am fine is the response
Go find out why you cannot conceive
Insist is what I do; I cannot go alone,
We are a party to this, best we both get checked
The family pressure builds on
My kind husband starts turning vile
He doesn’t look at me in the eye
Drinking becomes his best friend, his wife
He starts to sleep out
Yells at me
He stops eating my food
I become a stranger in my own marriage
In my own house
I am in chains
I have never tampered with my uterus
Never did I abort
Birth control pills and menstrual pain pills are what I hear of from the neighbours
Deep inside i know I am normal, I can have my own children
My home turns into my in-laws’ den
They roam in it
Every corner of it
They run through my personal belonging
My marital bed is no exception!
They inspect it
The car I received from my husband on my wedding day is taken by his brother
My cooking utensils are taken away by the girls
He is mute like he has never spoken a word in his life
Laughter has died in our house
We have turned into strangers
One morning, I left
I applied the principle to two legs
Back to my father’s house
Left a clear message
I shall return after our families rebuild this bridge
After you accept to go to the hospital with me
I cannot be treated like I am not human
I cannot live in my house like an animal being hunted
I find myself a job
I am happy again
The pleading begins for my return
Please come back home
My ground I stand
He trails me
He stalks me
Leaves me restless
He finds himself a higher position at my workplace in my duty station
He threatens me
He slaps me
He disgraces me in public
I am being torn from the inside
I get moved to another location
I become the hunted
Gunmen follow me
Gunmen ransack my house
Let us return the dowry, my papa intervenes
I am excited and offer to add
No, he says
We received, we shall return
It is done!
My peace returns!
Love blossoms again!
I dive in
With the hope that the new man will be different
Today I have my own grandchildren
I am aging with grace
Life is what I desired once more
Happiness has returned to me!
Through the eyes of AYENYO Joanita
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